Torah for Christians: Women of the Bible: Mrs. Potiphar

Transcript

TORAH FOR CHRISTIANS

 POTIPHAR’S WIFE

SEASON SIX          EPISODE ELEVEN

          Joseph was on Temptation Island. But it wasn’t a reality show. I’m Rabbi Jordan Parr and this is Torah for Christians.

MUSIC

          Welcome to Torah for Christians. I’m Rabbi Jordan Parr.

          Joseph had a most interesting life. He had just arrived in Egypt; his brothers having sold him into slavery in a pique of anger and jealousy. But here he was, a servant in the household of Potiphar, one of the most powerful people in all of Egypt, who had bought Joseph from the Ishmaelites.

          Whatever he was doing, Joseph did it well. Potiphar held him in high regard and, after a time, assigned him to serve his wife, who is simply called, Potiphar’s wife. It’s not original but it does speak to the status of many women in the Bible, who are recognized for their actions but not for their names.

          So, what happened? Joseph was a scrappy, apparently good-looking young man who brought out the lust in the women around him, especially Potiphar’s wife. The problem was that she was his boss. And she wanted him for herself, even though she was married to one of the most powerful people on the planet. 

          Potiphar’s wife desired to sleep with Joseph. She was upset with her husband; she told Joseph because he concerned himself with everything but her. And she wanted some attention; she found Joseph and decided that she would have him for her own.

          But according to the Torah, Joseph adamantly refused to sleep with her. The adverb adamantly does not appear in the Hebrew but is inferred. The verb is “vayima’ein”, refused. We wouldn’t think anything of it except that the Torah is chanted. The cantillation note above this word, which appears only three times in the entire Torah, is called a Shalshelet, a sing-song note that goes up and down three times, in Hebrew Shalosh, to which the word Shalshelet is related.

          This commentary suggests that Joseph was pure of heart and would not commit adultery. But was this really the case? Let’s look at Joseph for a moment before we return to Mrs. Potiphar.

          In the Koran, there is a Sura, a chapter called Surat Yusuf, The Story of Joseph. It correlates well with the Torah, but also includes a lot of Midrashic material, as well as giving us original Islamic material, of course. It’s a beautiful Sura and I encourage you to read it, even in English.

In this Sura, Joseph actually does lie with Mrs. Potiphar. As he was about to engage in sexual activity, the vision of his father appeared to him, begging him to stop. Which he did. His father reminded him of his roots and his obligations. He was tempted but he did not allow his lust to overcome his integrity. But he came close to doing so.

From where did the Koran get this story? There are alternative traditions in Midrash that allude to Joseph perhaps not being so pure. In the Torah, it clearly states that Joseph was handsome and loyal. The question is: was he also virile?

Joseph was only 17 years old when his brothers sold him into slavery. When he met Mrs. Potiphar, he probably was no older than about 18, hardly the age when most young men exhibit sexual maturity. And while there is no evidence in the Torah to support the assertion that he did sleep with Mrs. Potiphar, it would wrong to assume that he was not at least tempted by her lust for him.

But why was Mrs. Potiphar so attracted to Joseph? Of course, he was good looking and available. He was also a Hebrew, not an Egyptian so perhaps there was the allure of sleeping with “forbidden fruit.” After all, we learn when Joseph entertained his brothers that Egyptians and Hebrew did not break bread together. This points to a clear social distinction; Egyptians and Hebrews did not mix well together.

But perhaps the best explanation is that Potiphar ignored his wife. He was a high ranking Egyptian official, constantly busy, and perhaps he took his wife for granted. Since she felt ignored, Mrs. Potiphar saw Joseph, became attracted to him, and then tried to bed him.

When she made her move on Joseph, he ran out of her quarters, tearing his garment in the process. Apparently, this was a very public event, embarrassing Mrs. Potiphar. Were she to admit the truth, Mrs. Potiphar would have been further embarrassed and would probably have lost both her husband and her position as the powerful wife of a prominent minister. So, she blamed Joseph and accused him of sexual assault. Potiphar believed her, of course, and sent Joseph to prison.

What do we learn from this story, when we focus on Mrs. Potiphar and not on Joseph? Well, the story really changes from one of lust to one of loneliness. It teaches us a lot about the care and feeding of a marriage.

Potiphar entrusted the Hebrew slave Joseph with the affairs of his household; only Mrs. Potiphar was forbidden to him. I am reminded of a modern situation, be it in the Middle East, Europe, America or elsewhere where an extremely wealthy and powerful man hires a house manager who makes sure that the gardener does his job, the cooks do their jobs, the housekeepers keep the home clean, the nannies keep the kids clean, and calls the plumber when the toilet is clogged. His wife is free to shop, socialize and even work if she so wants. But by hiring a house manager, he has taken the burden of being a wife off her shoulders. 

This could be a great opportunity for her. She can find her voice as a volunteer, an executive or as a socialite if she so desires. But what does not change are her basic needs, needs which a marriage is intended to rectify. One of those needs is, of course, sexual fulfillment. In modern times, her husband might find his satisfaction elsewhere if he can’t or chooses not to find it at home; the same might be said for her. Of course, it does not have to be this way, and should not be this way, but without a commitment to their marriage, their relationship can quickly become fraught. In other words, when their marriage is not a priority, bad things can happen.

This might explain why Mrs. Potiphar approached Joseph. But there was definitely another reason, to which I alluded earlier. Joseph was forbidden fruit. When Mrs. Potiphar framed Joseph and accused him of sexual assault, she accused Mr. Potiphar of bringing a Hebrew into the household. In other words, it’s your fault that you brought this undesirable, this lowlife Hebrew into the household. Why should you be surprised that he assaulted me? After all, he is a Hebrew! And a slave to boot!

If you think that I am exaggerating, read Chapter 39 of the Book of Genesis for yourself. Mrs. Potiphar engages in hate speech when she frames Joseph. Of course, she won’t take responsibility for attempting to seduce Joseph; we understand that. But when she employs racist tropes against him, Mr. Potiphar should have taken note and thought twice about sending Joseph to prison. 

From this episode we see the power of using stereotypes and racist tropes to deflect blame for one’s own actions. We learn that we can hide our improper behavior when we use our privilege to frame others. We learn that power used improperly can be catastrophic. 

Had Mrs. Potiphar done this before? We don’t know. Will she do so again in the future? Again, we don’t know; the Torah is silent. But we do know that the long-term winner in this story is not Potiphar, it is not Mrs. Potiphar; it is Joseph. His imprisonment for this event resulted in him becoming second only to Pharaoh in the Egyptian hierarchy. He was more powerful than Potiphar. And that was the best revenge of all.

I want to thank you for listening to Torah for Christians. If you want to listen to previous episodes, please go to our website at www.torahforchristians.net. 

Please join us next week when we talk about Moses and the women in his life. Until then, Hinei … L’hitra’ot, till we meet again. I’m Rabbi Jordan Parr and this is Torah for Christians.