Torah for Christians: Women of the Bible: Sarah v hagar

Transcript

TORAH FOR CHRISTIANS

 SEASON ONE        EPISODE THREE

 SARAH VS HAGAR

           I’m sorry. I don’t think that I would answer a job offer from Sarah on Indeed.com. I might be cast out into the desert. Why? Keep listening. I’m Rabbi Jordan Parr and this is Torah for Christians.

MUSIC

          Welcome to Torah for Christians. I’m Rabbi Jordan Parr.

          In Genesis, Chapter 16 we first learn of Hagar, Sarai’s Egyptian handmaiden. We don’t know how she acquired Hagar but perhaps, if we look back to Genesis, Chapter 12, we learned that Abram and Sarai went to Egypt to play a con on the Pharaoh. The Torah tells us that they left with cattle, jewelry, money and yes, slaves. So perhaps Hagar was one of Sarai’s acquisitions from their time in Egypt.

          But why does she appear at all? 

          The first verse of the chapter repeated what we learned at the end of Chapter 11, that Sarai was barren. So, and this is the strange part, she gave Hagar to Abram so that he could impregnate Hagar. Then that child would be considered as Sarai’s child and yes, inherit Abram’s fortune when that time came. Hagar, the Torah tells us, became Abram’s concubine and she conceived. 

          The fact that Hagar became Sarai’s surrogate is jarring to our modern sensibilities. But it is not without precedent in the ancient world. From certain Near Eastern archeological finds, we have discovered that this was a common occurrence in the world of Abraham; barren women would give their female slaves to their husbands so that they could then take the newborn child as their own. Yes, it’s strange but there is outside evidence that tells us that this story could have happened.

          So, what happens next? 

          First, Hagar lorded her pregnancy over Sarai. When Sarai became incensed at Hagar’s impudence, she marched over to Abram and demanded that he choose between the two women, both of whom could be considered as his wife. Abram ducked the demand and turned Hagar over to Sarai, who promptly mistreated her, forcing the pregnant Hagar to flee into the wilderness.

          While sitting by an unnamed spring in the wilderness, a heavenly angel visited her. The angel commanded Hagar to return home and submit to Sarai. In return, the angel promised Hagar that her son would become the ancestor of a multitude of people. The son’s name would be Ishmael, meaning that God has heard. God has heard Hagar’s plea and given her this gift. 

          However, Ishmael would be “a wild ass of a man” when he grew up, not a very pleasant prophecy. But since he would father a great nation, Ishmael’s birth would be a blessing. Hagar named this well where she heard this prophecy Be’er lahai roi, which means “The Well of the Living One Who sees me.” We’ll return to this well in a later story.

          When the child was born, Abram took him as the first born and called him Ishmael. Abram was 86 years old when he was born; note this date. And thus endeth this story.

But there is another chapter in Hagar’s story. It occurs during a celebration of Isaac’s weaning. Sarah went to get Isaac, who probably was about 2 or 3 years old at the time and found Ishmael “mtzachek” with Isaac, Yitzchak. Note the wordplay, m’tzachek and Yitzchak, laughter. 

Most translations of this verse use a word akin to playing. Sarah discovered that Ishmael was playing with his half-brother. Most of us would love to see this; two brothers, separated by 13 years, playing together. Lovely.

But this infuriated Sarah. She demanded again that Abraham throw Hagar and Ishmael out of the compound, never to return. But before we look at that part of the story, we must ask ourselves: Why did Sarah get so angry?

I don’t think it was because Sarah did not want Ishmael to have any contact with her son. After all, how could she prevent it? Rather, let’s look at the Hebrew word again, mtzachek. It can mean to play, as children play. But there is a dark side to this verb; it can also mean fondling. If we read it this way, Sarah broke in on Ishmael fondling Isaac’s genitals.

Now we understand why Sarah became so livid. This time, I would agree with her that Ishmael had to go; he was a danger to Isaac. God forbid anyone do this to our children.

Even after this horrible incident, Abraham was still hesitant to expel Hagar and Ishmael. It distressed Abraham, the Torah says; he was reluctant to act. God personally intervened and told Abraham to let the boy go, that Ishmael – and Isaac – would both be fathers of great nations. Isaac, we know is a Patriarch of the Jewish people. Ishmael, we learn, is the father of the Arab nations and as such, provides a direct link between Judaism and Islam.

I imagine that Sarah regretted sharing her handmaiden with her husband; mainly because there seems to have been some spark between Abraham and Hagar. His hesitancy belied his affection for Hagar – which probably made her even angrier. 

Sarah forced Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael into the desert, where they almost died. Again, God saved them and made this Covenant with the two of them.

Did Sarah have cause to throw them into the desert? As I stated before, if Ishmael was fondling his baby brother, Sarah’s son, I can’t really blame her. I would never want such a molester around my kids.

But is death by dehydration really a fair punishment? And why was Hagar punished at all; it was her teenage son who committed this crime, if it was a crime at all. And if all Ishmael was doing was playing with his baby brother, why would it be a crime at all, much less a death sentence? The Torah leaves these questions unanswered.

The dénouement of this story is found in Genesis 22, when God commands Abraham to offer Isaac as a sacrifice on Mount Moriah. Looking at this complex story through the eyes of Sarah, the rationale for this near sacrifice comes into focus. In this thread, God is telling Abraham that it was wrong to exile Ishmael; just look what I can do to the son that you really love!

And Sarah’s comeuppance? Abraham did not tell Sarah that he was taking Isaac; he just left with the lad. At the end of the episode, Abraham returns home to Beersheva – but he returns alone, never to see his son again. Isaac goes to live with Ishmael at Be’er-Lahai Ro’I, remember that well? He must have been furious with his father. I know I would be.

When Abraham returns alone, I would guess that Sarah would ask him what he had been doing for the past week. And then she would have asked what happened to Isaac. Can you imagine Abraham telling her the story? And then, at the start of Genesis 23, the very next chapter, she dies. Midrash comments that Sarah was so shocked by this news, she fainted and died. In my opinion, Abraham’s story probably gave her a heart attack. 

Perhaps Sarah realized that this was, to use a term from another faith, karma coming back to hurt her. She expelled her hated stepson, so God showed her what it meant to lose a son of her own. Sarah never saw her son again; he even missed her funeral. She truly lost him. Interestingly, Hagar never lost her son; they lived and died together.

So, who won this competition? I think it’s a mixed message. Did Hagar overreach during the first story? I believe so. But did Sarah overreact in the second story? I believe so as well. Again, if Ishmael was fondling Isaac, I would have removed Ishmael from the household. But if he didn’t, I can’t see why Hagar was punished at all.

To sum up, Sarah is a very complex woman. She is originally presented as this quiet, demure woman who did Abraham’s bidding, even to the point of posing as her sister. But as she aged, she found her voice, even running the household. It was wonderful to see her growth and her agency, even if the consequences were difficult to stomach.

Next week, we’ll look at Lot and his daughters. When we discuss the women of the Bible, these two women are often overlooked. But when we learn their story, we’ll see that they are pivotal to Israelite history and theology.

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          Again, thank you for listening to Torah for Christians. I’m Rabbi Jordan Parr and I wish you a wonderful week. Hinei Mah Tov… L’hitraot, till we meet again. I’m Rabbi Jordan Parr and this has been Torah for Christians.